Turns out all we had to do to stop the night visits from Willa was tell her to cut it out. That, and 2 hours, starting at 3 am, of picking her up and carrying her back to bed in silence. They don't show those 2 hours of agony on Supernanny. There was so much crying, I was expecting the police to show up with a special teddy bear that made our daughter feel like they were nice people who were taking them to foster care.
On Friday, before putting her down for the night, we told Willa she had to sleep in her own crib until it was sunny out. And hours later we showed her we meant it.
The next morning, she and I had a talk.
"Were you sad last night when mama and daddy wouldn't let you sleep in our bed?"
"I'm sorry you were sad, but you have your own bed, and we all sleep in our own beds. Tonight when you go to sleep, you need to stay in your own bed until it's morning, and then we'll all play, okay?"
And Sunday morning we woke up feeling rested. For two nights there has been no visitors or even crying from her room.
A small win.
Now we're moving on to eating vegetables.