Sinki numero dos is the size of a "large heirloom tomato" and a candidate for Cirque de Soleil
(click here for an artists rendering of our contortionist fetus). Tomorrow Jim and I will get our first glimpse of baby through the magic of ultrasonic imaging.
I am nervous and anxious more than excited. I remember a small feeling of dread when facing the ultrasound with Willa too. "Everything is going too well... surely we'll find something is wrong at the ultrasound." She's fine, I'm sure (honestly? no I'm not, this is why I'm nervous) this one will be fine too. I'm hoping to be able to see 4 heart chambers working together well and with ease, 10 fingers and toes, a well formed brain and spinal cord.
Fear is a potent thing in an expecting woman. And an ultrasound can be a window to those fears realized.
In addition to health concerns, the real reason of this scan, we will be given the opportunity to find out the gender, should baby cooperate.
We have decided to try to find out this time.
While pregnant with Willa, there was no doubt we were going to wait. "Good, it should be a surprise," people would say in response. I was (frankly) smug in my agreement. I wanted, Jim wanted, that "it's a ____" experience after the baby arrived.
Jim assures me this happened. But I have absolutely no memory of this.
I remember Willa was on my chest, gooey and warm and brand new. I knew she was a girl. I don't remember anyone telling me.
So, darn it, I wanted to have this experience in a moment when I hadn't been in labor forever and wasn't pushing for eons.
And Jim was all, "that's cool."
I don't know if we'll be sharing right away tomorrow. We may keep our excited buzz to ourselves for a day. But stay tuned.