Monday, June 02, 2008

Sneak Peek

Sinki numero dos is the size of a "large heirloom tomato" and a candidate for Cirque de Soleil
(click here for an artists rendering of our contortionist fetus). Tomorrow Jim and I will get our first glimpse of baby through the magic of ultrasonic imaging.
I am nervous and anxious more than excited. I remember a small feeling of dread when facing the ultrasound with Willa too. "Everything is going too well... surely we'll find something is wrong at the ultrasound." She's fine, I'm sure (honestly? no I'm not, this is why I'm nervous) this one will be fine too. I'm hoping to be able to see 4 heart chambers working together well and with ease, 10 fingers and toes, a well formed brain and spinal cord.
Fear is a potent thing in an expecting woman. And an ultrasound can be a window to those fears realized.
In addition to health concerns, the real reason of this scan, we will be given the opportunity to find out the gender, should baby cooperate.
We have decided to try to find out this time.
While pregnant with Willa, there was no doubt we were going to wait. "Good, it should be a surprise," people would say in response. I was (frankly) smug in my agreement. I wanted, Jim wanted, that "it's a ____" experience after the baby arrived.
Jim assures me this happened. But I have absolutely no memory of this.
I remember Willa was on my chest, gooey and warm and brand new. I knew she was a girl. I don't remember anyone telling me.
So, darn it, I wanted to have this experience in a moment when I hadn't been in labor forever and wasn't pushing for eons.
And Jim was all, "that's cool."
I don't know if we'll be sharing right away tomorrow. We may keep our excited buzz to ourselves for a day. But stay tuned.


Keri said...

I'll be thinking about you all during the ultrasound tomorrow.

I like how you described Willa as "gooey." :-)

AmyinMotown said...

It is utterly terrifying. I had the nervous sweats both times. What helped me is remembering that most of the time, it's totally fine.

Looking forward to hearing your news.

Oh, and we found out both times. No possible way I could have waited nine months. I hate those "It SHOULD be a surprise" comments -- it WAS a surprise, the baby was just still inside for four more months! And another reason we found out was that people very close to me said they were disappointed in the sex of the baby when he/she was born. I wanted my first thought on meeting my baby to be "Welcome!" having hopefully gotten over any disappointment I may have felt months prior.

Looking forward to the "everything's OK" news, and the sex if you choose to share it.

(I think it's a boy, just because I have a boy #2, and I think he's awesome so now I want everyone to have one just like mine :-) ).

Amanda said...

Blah blah! It is a surprise to EVERYONE, you are just finding out earlier :) Nothing wrong with that! Can't wait to find out!

Kerri said...

Good luck at the ultrasound! I'm sure everything is fine! :)

Maribeth said...

Im thinking about you two right now. I can't wait to hear the news. As someone who is a day away from her big u/s I completely understand your worries. It is nice to see that someone else feels that way. It is something you don't want to mention to others because you don't want to see like a worry wart.

Anonymous said...

I wasn't worried about the baby so much as having to drink all the water. Hoping that I don't pee it out on the table when I finally got to see the miracle that was growing inside!

Is Willa going with you? She may start to understand what is going on with Mommy alittle better. Have the tech keep the wand on you while Willa pushes (lightly) on your belly and see the reaction that Willa and the baby have.

Good Luck! Have fun with it! ~Jen