so "that" kid

We went to a Whitecaps (minor league baseball for you non-natives) game last night. The thing about minor league games is that they make such an effort for family friendly fun you forget there's baseball going on. Willa and I spent some time at the playground instead of watching the game, as I had hoped we'd do.
For the last 2 days she's kind of been Dr. Willa and Ms. Hide, as in hide from her: hide well, and hide fast. I think the upper molars are destined to arrive soon. Hopefully on that glorious day the moodiness will pass. Before leaving the house there were tears over milk, the wrong song playing on the cd player, and the fact that the yellow crayon was missing.
So. No baseball because I didn't want to, nor had the patience to, endure another crying fit. Instead we spent 20 minutes waiting in line for the bouncy house. It was finally her turn. She jumped and ran and fell like the other kids, all older and bigger. When their 5 minutes were over, the other kids filed out. Willa didn't follow. I told her, "Willa, it's time to get out and let other kids have their turn." She replied, "in a minute."
The other kids and parents who had been waiting in line were not amused. The person working the bouncy house gave me dirty looks as I hissed at her through the netted window, "Willa. Get. Out. NOW."
She jumped with a giant grin - she had the whole place to herself - "in a min-ute!"
One mom sent her twin 7 year old girls in after Willa. They ran to her, and Willa screamed.
I could not go in - the opening of the place was tiny and my greatness with child is fairly great. I nervously looked at the back of the structure while bribing her to get out. No escape hatch, and cookies were not luring her out.
Finally mom of the twins went in and scooped her up.
Willa grinned at me as she got out. "In line again?"
We went back to where Jim was. I handed her to him and walked away for a moment, very enviously eyeing the large beers the vendors had.
It was a rough night in parentville.

Sinki security team

This morning I heard Greta growling fiercely. Arlo started barking. I went into the living room to see what had offended them. They were standing at the window looking into the side yard. Hackles were up, and I think I saw Greta's teeth.
I peeked out the window. Our neighbor has a new lawn ornament. And our dogs feel they need to protect themselves, their humans, and their den from the 18" tall, wooden uncle Sam with a flag.
I let them out of the house, they ran toward it, stopped 5 feet before it and started to bark their fool heads off. A minute later, they had apparently gave him the what for and trotted off to threaten the squirrels.

Willa-isms

On Sunday I cut Arlo and Greta's nails. Greta doesn't seem to mind it much. She sits and offers her paw, like she's getting a manicure. Arlo doesn't like it, but puts up with it. I have to hold him in my lap. This is the first time, I think, Willa's observed this ritual. She stayed with us the whole time. After Arlo tried to slink away the first time, she crouched next to him and said, "you're okay now." While patting his back and putting him in a headlock.

Willa's declaration of needing to use the bathroom consists of looking at us and saying, "don't pee on da floor."

Bill and Jackie's dog is, and may always be "Otis da puppy." And my parent's place up north is called "Grandma's Grandpa's cottage, fun." Lake Drive, she knows, is where we turn to "see Baby Brody - today?" (a friend's little guy who Willa has a slight obsession with).

When Willa was a baby we got the Elizabeth Mitchell CD with the song "Little Bird" on it. I've been singing it to her nearly every night ever since. Now she sings along. It's one of the best moments of every day.

A mistress must be the new American flag lapel pin

Dear John Edwards,
You'll have to make your own grilled cheese sandwich next time you're in GR.
Amy

I heard the rumblings start a few weeks ago. "Edwards cheated" small headlines of news sources with questionable credibility suggested. I took a party line, chalked it up to Karl Rove moving his GOP machine right over the man who could have been a great VP for Obama.

And then he admitted it. You'll recall that I put a great deal of stock in Mr. Edwards.

Now I know how an 8 year old football fan and devotee of Michael Vick may have felt. I have not generally been one to put a lot of stock in people simply because of celebrity or power. I do not recall having a lot of famous heroes growing up. I never joined a fan club. I don't keep up on celebrity news, and don't hold much stock in the rumor mills of Hollywood or DC. I don't watch "reality television" because it bores me. I just don't care much about people who I don't know. And I think I've rarely fooled myself into believing that I knew someone via interviews and performances. Politicians and celebrities are not idols to hold up as a way to live your life. They are human and they make mistakes. They are learning how to be, just like everyone else.

But it seemed like John Edwards was talking to my heart. And my heart and his were old pals. And I wanted him, so much, to be in charge of what happened with my country - something else I care about a whole bunch.

I do not think that the private sex life of anyone should disqualify them for a job. Training dogs to fight and betting on them doesn't make you less of an awesome football player. It makes you an asshole...

I thought he was so much better than that.

It's a big day

This morning Willa left the bed where the Sinki's were easing into Friday morning. She came back in a skirt and bloomers declaring, "no diapers today, mama."

Jim put her big girl underpants on her, and put the skirt back on. We brought her to day care with a change of clothes, just in case. It's her first day there with no diapers.

I'm looking forward to seeing how the great experiment went.

Our hairy, active, healthy, very big

Three hours ago Jim and I got to see our son.

I can not post this until later because I'd like to tell my family in person and not via the blog.

We saw all of the major organs again, and they're working well.


He (he he he he!!!!) has a lot of hair that showed up on the screen. And giant cheeks.


He is a big baby. I am 28 weeks pregnant, and he's measuring 31+ weeks. Ultrasounds have limits on accuracy, but the computer tells us he (our son. We're having a boy!!!) is 3 pounds, 11oz. He is bigger than 97% of all other babies his age. I am only somewhat concerned.

He was sitting, using my cervix as a foot rest. He is facing my spine, and his head was on my right side. "Little" guy you've got a few months to get into the best possible birthing position. Put it on your long term to do list, okay?

Since the day I knew I was pregnant, I had a very strong feeling that I was carrying around a fella. Kind of neat to have confirmation of mother's intuition.

The ultrasound wand was placed on my belly, and seconds later I had a tear coming from both eyes. I saw a penis before she (the same tech who spent a very long time with us the first time)could say so.

He's on the way....

Photos from the weekend

She kept trying to go back to the water after we were done swimming. How to keep a toddler still on the beach? Bury her under sand. Four times because she liked it so much.
Feet. Sand.
I thought 8:30 was too late to get down to the lake for a little swim on Saturday night. Turned out it was perfect for these two.

Just us. Justice.

The three of us haven't had a full weekend together since our vacation. Ahhh... summer working for a nonprofit. At least for Jim and I this means a lot of time spent on the road. Me, meeting clients, him, meeting sponsors.
In addition, last week was a darn horrible week and we needed to get away.
We went to Higgens Lake on Saturday and came home Sunday. It was lovely.
Yesterday we spent time on the beach at the state park. Jim and I built sandcastles in the surf under the watchful eye of our supervisor, Willa, who was just waiting for them to get big enough to stomp apart. A little boy joined us. His name was Sam and he was three.
A while later we met up with Sam again in the water with his mom. Sam splashed us. His mom took him away while giving him a stern talking too.
Willa jumped on the bandwagon. "Sammy bad. Sammy naughty. Sammy in trouble." She talked about Sam's (who she decided was more of a Sammy) terrible behavior the entire walk back to the sand. If Willa and St. Peter were in cahoots, poor Sam's soul would be doomed for all eternity simply for splashing us.

Willa, a pit bull, and I go to the County jail

I was late for work today. But I had a really good excuse.

Willa and I got in the car this morning and turned from our street to a fairly busy road. Traffic was acting weird, and after a truck moved on, it was obvious why. There was a dog walking down the right lane. I nervously watched it as I prepared to make my turn. The dog left the street for the sidewalk, and I sighed with relief. But then there was this stray dog, walking around kind of aimlessly and looking confused...

I had to stop.

Okay, I know my mom is reading this and is about to worry a bit. This ends well (I hope) for everyone. Onward.

So. I turned onto another side street, rolled down my window and whistled. I am a good whistler, so the dog - 4 houses away on a busy street - heard and stopped to turn around. I put the car in park, got out and called for the dog. He perked up and clumsily loped over to me. He was a young (probably not yet a year), beautiful, and very sweet pit bull.

I, of course, put the strange stray dog in my car. I made him stay in the front seat because I didn't want him to get anywhere near Willa. See? I have some sense. Willa was in the backseat smiling and saying "brown doggie" over and over.

And we drove to the animal shelter which, lucky for all 3 of us, happens to be on our route anyhow.

The shelter and the jail share adjacent land, so we wound up there first and I kind of felt all bad ass with my temporary pit bull next to me. The 2 year old in the back seat singing her ABC's kind of ruined the vibe though.

We got to the shelter and they were not open until 10. Luckily, an overworked and burnt out employee was walking in while I was on the phone with the sheriff ("um... I have this stray dog and I have to get to work"). The worker sent someone else out to get the dog. After rolling her eyes at me when I asked for her help.

The kind shelter guy promised me that they give this misunderstood breed as much of a chance for adoption as any other dog. That made me glad, he was a sweet buddy for the 8 minutes he was in my care. I hope his owner thinks to call the shelter. He had a collar but no tags. I signed a paper and the guy took the happy and willing dog from my car.

At which point Willa lost it because she thought her new doggie was gone.

It was not a usual morning.

moments and people

Last Sunday evening we took Willa to a small playground that's right on the Grand River. While she and Jim were playing, I glanced west at the water. The sun was to set in an hour or so, and there was an incredible sense of peace that came over me. It was kind of strange and surreal: I didn't hear the playground chatter, or traffic, or music coming from the nearby church group. It was silent, and for the first time since my sister told me there was trouble with her pregnancy, I felt calm, centered, serene.
I like to think that that moment was something meaningful and something I should carry. But in the senseless loss of the immediate, that's hard to do, hard to process.
Lisa and Ken are home now. Their village will surround them and hug them and give them cookies. We will not be able to give them what they most ache for, but we will offer what we have.
Lisa tells me to hug our Willa and pat my belly. I urge you to do the same. Take a moment to be grateful for what challenges you, what feeds you, and what means the most to you. And if the "that" is a person, let them know.
With love,
Amy

Tidal wave of love

Thanks to everyone who offered their sympathy, thoughts, and prayers. I am going to keep these comments private and not publish them for the last post. Please know that each one was comforting, and I will pass along the wave of love to my sister and the rest of my family.

Dear darling little nieces,

I never got to meet you, never even felt you moving inside your mom's belly. But I love you girls, and was looking forward to smelling your newborn heads when I first held you.


Your mom called me today to say that you wouldn't be joining us this way. Your little bodies weren't meant to make it. And now you're both gone. The doctors didn't start a proceedure that would hopefully help you grow big and strong. Your parents had no decisions to make, in the end the percentages and risks were meaningless. You took care of that for them, and just slipped off sometime between the last kick or elbow or stretch your mom felt last night and this morning's ultrasound. And for making the decision, I thank you.

For all of the joy you brought us - your heartbroken family of sister, parents, grandparents, great-grandparents, uncles, aunts, and cousin - before we could even counted your tiny toes, thank you. You will be mourned and missed. You will be remembered and loved.


Aunt Amy

Heavy things, heavy heart

Now I am a blogging slacker and a liar.
I'm kind of laying low in the bat cave right now.
My sister has run into some complications with her pregnancy, and I'm using my spare time and energy to send good thoughts, think of something productive I might do to provide help to my little sister and her husband and their four year old, and generally try not to cry every time I feel my own baby move inside of me.
Caring for and loving other people is hard work. Lisa shared the names of her babies with me, and now I might love them even more. I'm sharing neither the names nor the gender, as I don't know if that's public yet.
The twins are sharing a placenta, and that's not a good thing. Here is an article * that describes the surgery we're hoping will take place in Tampa, FL early next week. Science and medicine continues to amaze me.
Sinki vacation review will tie up when I can write about it and give it justice. For now, any crossed fingers, good vibes and big strong prayers sent to Lisa and her family would be terrific.

*Andi, I don't know if you read here or not, but if you do, thanks again for the article.

Stuck in the locks

Dear Sinki family memories and readers,

Sorry to leave you stranded in the Soo. Work and life has been crazy. Please check in tomorrow when I do the final vacation wrap-up.

In the meantime, send out teeny vibes that morning sickness isn't coming back to me. I'm queasy, and it might be because of the "English hot house cucumber" sized fetus in residence. Or not.

Also, Willa has named "big baby" after her teacher. This puts her naming of items at:
- my old Hush Puppy stuffed dog who she calls Thomas or Otis (after Bill and Jac's puppy) depending on the mood.
- "big baby" is now called "Little Kelly" after Willa told me that she loved Miss Kelly at school (who she hadn't seen in 2 weeks because of overlapping vacations).

See you tomorrow.

Cooler than it sounds, the Soo Locks

... and then it was time to strike off on our own and brave the Mackinac Bridge and the great north woods. Last Monday we gave my parents hugs and kisses and drove north.

First stop: Sault Saint Marie. There we found THE nicest MI Welcome Center employee in the history of hospitality. We left with a bag full of information on lodging and sites to see in the UP (because we admitted that we didn't really do much research before leaving) and a wolf poster that she dug out of the back office for Willa.

From there we checked into the Holiday Inn Express*. This was our first time hoteling with the dogs. They had a tough time figuring out what their role was. We felt it should be to lie down, enjoy the scents of former boarders, and chill out. They felt they should alert us every time someone was in the hallway.

The humans went to check out the Locks. Lucky for us, a ship was due in w/in 20 minutes of arrival. And there it was, huge and right in front of us:

From the Locks we went to dinner and then back to our hotel for some swimming in the pool.

*"What? No camping?" You say. We have a 3 person tent, and it would have been mighty full with 2 adults, a toddler and 2 dogs. Also, camping and 6 months pregnant? This gestator needs a bathroom nearby at all times.

More trees

Mr. Sinki has a hard time doing nothing. This is a fact that he probably won't dispute. One morning while at the cottage I woke up as he was coming back from Houghton Lake's Wallmart with pillows and a dog brush. It's probably for the best that I married Mr. on-the-go. Otherwise I could pretty easily relax myself into a state of very still ooze.

Anyhow, this restless of his encouraged a little side trip to Heartwick Pines. The thing about forrest evolution is that the environment and tree makeup change over time. They're going to have the change the name of this State Park soon, as the Maples will soon outnumber the enormous old growth pines left.

We started off in the the interpretive center where you learn about forrests and that specific land area. There was a display of the fecal matter we might see on the walking trails. I'm sure it was plastic replica of scat, but still... our tax dollars at work there. Willa looked into the glass case and said, "I see flowers." Very telling of her perspective, I thought, must remember for the blog.

From there we went to the old logging museum. This is the segment of the trip where I has hot and bored and didn't really want to read about the 6 kinds of saws they used to cut down trees. I quietly perservered, trooper that I am.

Then we got to the woods. The main event.

Willa was in awe of all the "big trees." She asked for "more big trees" throughout the week.

We walked into the small chapel on the grounds. It's simplicity is humbling and holy all by itself. Willa caught on quick, turning to me with her finger on her lips, "shhhh."

We did some more walking, and found a bench for the following photo shoot. I call this series ADD and Genetics or Strangers at the Bus Stop.

The park is really pretty, and only a short drive from Higgens Lake. We'll have to go back again. I think our little Lorax would like another trip back soon.

Vacation review, part 1

It's been a hard transition back from our vacation. This was no few days away from the office. It was like a pack retreat (it included the dogs), and it was blissful. I figure instead of post all at once about it, I'll savor the review over a few days.

On July 4 we drove from our house to my parents' cottage at Higgens Lake. We spent a relaxing few days up there reading, eating, napping, talking and playing at the lake. While Jim and I were sad that none of my siblings were able to make the trip, it was nice to have my parents alone. Even when we're visiting them at their house, there's always some other activities abuzz. It was nice to slow down a little and really get to talk with them. Also? Willa enjoyed putting on a show for them, including saying their last name out loud for the first time. And folks, it's no easy name to spit out.

In this photo Willa is trying to reach for the water with Grandma's help.

Here's Grandpa drawing a mouse. And then erasing it to make a smaller mouse. Willa was very demanding that Grandpa draw a "little mouse."

Note the fancy slipcover. That used to be my sheet many years ago.

Willa, Arlo (who has a cold nose, according to Willa) and I sitting on an air mattress at the fire one night.

This guy? I totally married him. And have said a "thank you" prayer every day since.

A little walk to the Lake.

More goggle fun. Notice the feet up on the tree stump. She was imitating my mom, move for move.

A few other notes from this leg of the trip: the night of the fire, my dad, Jim and I saw a meteor streak from one side of the sky to the other. It was huge and awesome.

I rediscovered my love for JuJu Fruit candy.

Willa liked to hop from one area rug to the next in the cottage.

Willa has decided that my dad is her buddy. And my mom is getting closer and closer.

The fireworks on the lake the night of the 4th were plentiful. There were probably more than a dozen neighborhood shows going on all at once. It was pretty cool.

Jim and mom and dad, anything to add?

Report from the North

Greetings, pals. I am writing to you from the Upper Peninsula of our fair state. We are in Paradise. No, really. We're in Paradise, MI. Willa is napping in one bed, Jim's catching up on some reading in another, the dogs are sleeping, and I thought I'd see if Paradise had a good internet connection.

This morning we woke up, watched cartoons in bed, ate omelets and repacked the car leaving Sault Saint Marie to head west through National Forrest land. After our trip to Hartwick Pines (in Grayling, near my parent's cottage in Higgens Lake) a few days ago, Willa keeps asking to see "more big trees." The UP more than delivers on this request.

We stopped along the 2 lane highway to climb the 72 steps of the Point Iroquois Lighthouse. At the top of the Lighthouse one is faced with awesome beauty of Lake Superior and the surrounding woods and rocky formations. I was also faced with several phobias at once. I thought I had gotten over my fear of heights years ago. And 72 steps doesn't sound that high. But these were metal steps, with no backs, and I could see through their grating. Then we got to the top and there was no air circulating in the small space that used to house a lighthouse. None. And there was another small family already up there. It was, again, a small space. I looked around at the panoramic natural beauty, pretended that it was breathtaking, and that I wasn't hyperventilating, and then went down the steps cursing my parents ("sons of bitches") for talking it up so much that we had to stop. When we exited, it started to rain. We took the boardwalk to the lake anyhow.

It was worth the little hike up - but I could say this only after I was back on the ground.

After that we drove for a bit longer and stopped at a random side stop along the road. We walked through a thicket of trees and were suddenly the only people (and canines) on earth. We were on a sandy shore on a bay of the lake. Willa waded right in. The dogs frolicked in and out of the water. Jim and I took photos (we'll share some later).

This family vacation? So far, so pretty wonderful.

Sinkis on the run

The Sinki's are heading to the woods of Northern MI for a little while.
Bug spray? Check.
Underwear? Check.
Twizzlers? Check.
We're all set. See you back here after a refreshing vacation.

More big news

Oh my gosh, oh, my gosh, oh my gosh.... I don't think I can tell you yet, but more excitement to come!

An hour later: okay, I have security clearance now.
So, maybe you already know this, but Jim and I are expecting our second in October.
And my sister Lisa and her husband Ken are expecting their second and third in December.
On Sunday my brother Bill and his wife Jackie got a new puppy. He's a 10 week old black lab named Otis.
On Monday they shared that Otis won't be the only addition to their house. Bill and Jackie are going to be parents: wonderful, strong, loving, funny parents. Fingers crossed for a healthy and smooth pregnancy for them.

Outside of the immediate family, I have 2 cousins who are due in November and January.

Babies everywhere!